Forced Sincerity Superpower
“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary”~Mark Twain
What means more, apologizing automatically or apologizing in opposition to your emotions?
What is the point of an apology?
Andrea and I sometimes argue. We get frustrated and disagree. Sometimes (most) it is my fault. Eventhough, I still want to argue. What if it wasn’t my fault? I still want to prove a point. Trying to prove a point in an emotion driven argument is pointless.
Saying “I’m sorry” would fix the situation, but what if I still think I am right? Am I really sorry?
It doesn’t matter.
The point of an apology is to make the other person feel better.
This was just an example, but I have noticed we expect certain things to be automatic (i.e. automatically want to say sorry, fall in love, etc.). We assume, if these choices are forced, they do not have as much meaning. For example, when you first fall for someone you are infatuated with them. After several years of marriage you need to work to keep the passion.
I argue that mentally deciding to do something (apologize, have passion in the marriage, etc.) means more. It is easy when your emotions are controlling you, but it is something totally different when you say “This is more important so I will make an effort every day”
By the way, I am still learning to say I am sorry and not argue.